sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
