Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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