you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
