I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
