So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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