he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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