dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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