ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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