I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
