I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
