How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
