the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
