You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
