we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
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