White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
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picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
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He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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