Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
