i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize