If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
