what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got inside last night via doggy door
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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