Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
