I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I need to sanitize my soul.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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