Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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