Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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