Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize