Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
