You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize