your room smells of hookers.
And success
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
