I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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