porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
