you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
