..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
