My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize