how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
