I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
he just fucked me for my cheese.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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