Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
