The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
