I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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