it's too hot outside to masturbate.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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