If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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