now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
