i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
