i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize