we made out on top of his cat.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
