is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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