The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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