On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
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I think I have vodka in my lungs
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
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ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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