Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
