that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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