Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
