the condom got lost in my hair
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
ttyl tear gas
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize