so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
