evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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