Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Still dying that you shit outside
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
