Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
