Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
