She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize