why didn't you poke me back
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
