why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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